Monday, July 5, 2010

Label Jars, Not People

This post is off the subject. But thought it might help you understand who I am a little better.

Being pigeon-holed is a pet hate of mine. I am complicated. I have many levels and layers. Who I am and who I can appear to be can be very different projections. This is who I am.
  • I am a Virgo. That means that I have certain traits of the star sign and have the potential to be a perfectionist. This usually manifests in times of stress. But mostly I am a normal person who has a messy car.
  • I love hospitals. They are safe and clean and sterile. People are there to look after you. I trust doctors, not blindly, but I respect their knowledge and experience. When it comes to childbirth and antenatal care, although I am in tune with my body and my baby, I concede that the doctor probably knows better and I will listen to him/her. I guess I am lucky that I have had great experiences with doctors so far.
  • Although I enjoy the sterility of hospitals, I practice attachment parenting. Sometimes it may appear that these two things dont marry very well. But I wore my baby (Jack, at the time), co-slept and breastfed for 2 years plus. I practiced attachment parenting after my wonderfully safe and comforting hospital delivery.
  • I am an advocate for mother-led birth choices. I am also an advocate for baby-led birth choices. Here is what I mean: Every mother has the right to give birth in whatever way she feel most safe and comfortable. With rights come responsibility. Every mother, then, has the responsibility to ensure that her birth choice is the safest for her baby's situation. I had a c-section when I delivered Jack. At the time, I was 24. I was 57kg wringing wet. Jack was breech, and nine pounds. So, at the doctor's recommendation, I delivered via c-section. It was safest for me, it was safest for him. I spent a lot of time beating myself up for not having a "trial of labour." But I gave that up once I realised I had done the very best for my baby. My point is, no-one has the right to question or put down someone else's birth choice. If my best friend Merrill told me she wanted her baby to come out her nose, I would say "best of luck, hope it goes well..."
  • I give people the best of me. I make an effort when meeting new people. I usually, then, expect the best from others. And become very confused and bewildered when I dont get it.
  • I am impatient. I dont like waiting. I like efficiency.
  • If someone hurts my feelings, especially if it is uncalled for or unfair, I find it hard to forgive.
  • I am not a game player. I wear my heart on my sleeve. What you see is what you get.
  • I take issue with people who project a different affect to who they really are inside.
  • I often feel misunderstood. I often feel like a child. I crave acceptance and do not understand when I dont get it.
  • I often feel that some people have a perception of me that is incorrect.
  • I am a pragmatist. There is no drama here.
  • My marriage is solid. We've had our moments. But they were OUR moments. We dont take our relationship too seriously...well, we do, of course, but what I mean is that we laugh, joke and tease each other. That is us demonstrating our security. We dont need to advertise our love by being overly affectionate in public. We look after each other, and most of our deepest and closest moments as a couple are when we are alone. I dislike it when people assume we arent close because THEY dont see us in action.
  • I am a magnificent teacher.
  • I love cleaning, but I hate chemicals. I clean with vinegar and bi-carb soda. Natural.
  • Apart from Jack, Sybella and Kelvin, my brothers are my favourite people. They make me laugh and understand me wholeheartedly.
  • My children are my life.
I guess my point is, that there is so much that makes up who we are. I like to take a bit from here, and take a bit from there and mix it up into a solution that suits me. Life is not a template and neither are personalities. There are no "corporate" boxes, "perfectionist" boxes, "hippie" boxes, "sporty" boxes.
People are facets of many many different values, beliefs, practices, talents, likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses.

Right, then. I'm off to re-organise the saucepans while listening to whale songs.


  1. You love cleaning??? Can you come and stay with me....

    Ha ha on the whale songs. My meditation instructor gave me some CDs a few weeks ago and Mick was making whale sounds (he's a football watching Australian male if I was to stereotype him) and thought he was very amusing. Turns out the bottom CD was whale songs much to his amusement.

    And I think women would do much better to support each others birth choices rather than judge.

    Maddie x

  2. You are hilarious, a wonderful friend, supportive and amazing! Love love love
    Belinda xx

  3. What a wonderful glimpse into your mind! Thanks! All of it ˝fits˝

  4. I sincerely hope I don't decide to give birth out my nose. Do try and talk me out of that. Love you! xx