Thursday, July 22, 2010


I've mentioned before that I am in awe of how well Sybella looks after us, and although I am grateful for her spiritual care, it saddens me that it isnt the other way around. It saddens me that she is looking after us, when I should be looking after her.
I have an insight, based on signs that Sybella watches out for us, into her personality. I think she is caring. I think she is a girl who looks after everyone around her. I think she puts herself second and others first.
But by golly, do I wish that she were here so I could put all her needs first. There is something indescribably sad about being watched over by a guardian angel that is a baby.
At her funeral, I was told by one guest, who viewed Sybella in her casket, that she looked strong. She was a baby with strength, he could see it in her face. She had courage. Combined with all the signs around us that she was looking after us, I constructed her personality in my mind as fearless, brave and strong. But also a nurturer. And a carer.
I had dreams and visions, that as other little babies died, or were stillborn in the weeks or months after her, Sybella would be the one who met them in Heaven, took them under her wing and looked after them. She would be their welcome wagon and tour guide. She wouldnt let the new angel babies be afraid or alone.
This is a real comfort for me. I like to think of Sybella as a caring leader. I just really hope, with all my might, that someone is caring for her, and tucking her in every night as well.

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