Thursday, July 8, 2010

Giving Thanks

I guess when one is writing about stillbirth and the loss of their baby, it is easy to become negative. I wrote a post called I Wish They Wouldn't, all about the things I wish people wouldnt do and say. Kimberly asked if there was anything I wish people would have said or done. I guess I should start by apologising for not focusing on the positive support we received, sooner. My explanation (not excuse) is that when you are swamped by the negativity of your situation, it's hard to appreciate even the little things.

Anyhoo, this post can be divided into two sections: appreciation and thanks for the support we recieved and things I wished or hoped people would have said or done (although there isnt that much).

Giving Thanks ~ I loved how:

• People sent flowers. It was a true recognition of Sybella's birth. If she had been born alive, we'd be inundated with flowers. So I loved that we got flowers, even in sympathy, but I saw them as congratulatory.

• Same goes for cards.

• People called. They called and called and called. Granted, I wasnt always in a position to speak. Sometimes Kelvin fielded the calls, sometimes I didnt answer. But people wanted us to know that they were thinking of us. And if I didnt answer the first (or even second or third) time, they still called. And their messages were very comforting. It was nice to know that Sybella was in their thoughts.

• People tried to protect my feelings whenever there was a pregnancy or birth announcement.

• I got the most beautiful blessings and messages from people who I barely know, or speak to often.

• People really thought about what they were going to say or write to me. Almost all messages were heartfelt, sincere and well thought out.

• Barb came up one weekend, brought dinner, washed clothes and cleaned.

• People thought to ask after Kelvin and Jack. Some even went so far as to take Kel out for an evening, to a football game, seated in a corporate box, just so he had something to look forward to.

My Hopes and Wishes ~ I hope and wish that:

• People begin to learn more about stillbirth, now that is has affected someone they know.

• People understand when I dont have the strength or energy to respond to phone calls, facebook messages or emails straight away.

• People will donate a teddy bear to Bears of Hope when my 30th birthday rolls around in September, in lieu of gifts.

• People will always count Sybella as a person. I hope that she will always be included and remembered by others.

I will be posting more information on Bears of Hope in a future post. To read about it before then, click the Bears of Hope text above.

Wishing all readers a gentle day.

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