Wednesday, September 8, 2010


First of all, I want to say a huge thankyou for all the wonderful support for my readers and followers so far. You have given me such a wonderful gift, and that gift has been healing. Through my blog, I have been able to process so much of my grief and every single reader's interest and support has been invaluable.
I have some news...which some of you might have guessed already. I am pregnant again. About 15 weeks. Yes, I know. Sybella only died 20 weeks ago.
Seriously, Kelvin and I dont even know how this happened! The biggest point of confusion was the fact that Sybella took 18 cycles, of painstaking intercourse timing, cervix checking, and charting, to conceive. So of course, after Sybella was born,Kelvin and I werent particularly careful, after the difficulties of last time. We are very happy about our new baby. We look forward to meeting him or her (I think it's a him) in February 2011...only due a week after Jack's 5th birthday. That said, it was such a big shock and brought about many bittersweet feelings. It happened very quickly, a bit too quickly for us. I am still grieving deeply, of course. I feel guilty that Sybella didnt get a long enough period of grace...although she will forever have a period of grace in my heart. It has also been a very anxious and exhausting time. I am terribly afraid of this baby dying too. And I am physically exhaused...only having one month off between pregnancies. Today is September 8 2010. I found out I was pregnant with Sybella on September 29 2009. And I am still pregnant!
But we take it one day at a time and say a little prayer every now and then for a happy ending.
I understand, given whatever your personal situation is, if you dont continue to read or visit here. I really hope that isnt the case because I value and appreciate every single person who visits Born Still. And rest assured, I will not be writing about my pregnancy here, apart from this announcement post. This is Sybella's site. It's just for her, so I am not going to overtake it with news about the new baby. And I will continue to write here about Sybella and stillbirth. The new baby has it's own blog will be able to read the weekly diary of my pregnancy at my other blog,
Rainbow Baby. You can also click the Rainbow Baby button on the right sidebar and it will take you to the new blog.
However, I am a bit behind in my anecdotes...only up to Week 8. Hoping to catch up soon!
Wishing everyone a gentle day today. xx


  1. Beautiful Steph.. and I will definitely continue reading.. I enjoy hearing about, and being part of Sybella's memories.. It is truly touching, and extremely personal. Thank you for sharing, and once again, Goodluck with everything <3
    Love Nikki xo

  2. Oh I'm so glad for you and your family. You've got nerves of steel by now, my friend! Blessings to you today and everyday!