Tuesday, August 10, 2010

After Matilda

I met Maddie on Mamamia, which is social commentator Mia Freedman's blog.
Maddie's daughter Matilda died when she was only days old. Maddie writes about her daughter at After Matilda. I dont feel like I can give her story justice by telling it here...it is a story of devastation but also pure love and hope. It is beautiful. I encourage you to visit her blog and read for yourself.
Maddie has become somewhat of an idol for me. She manages her grief with such dignity and grace. She allows herself to feel her grief and doesnt apologise for it...and nor should she. But I know that I have been guilty of hiding mine, so as not to make others uncomfortable. Maddie has shown me that first and foremost, I need to be true to my feelings and to Sybella's memory. So I am putting other people's comfort aside and focusing on speaking about Sybella as much as I need to.
Maddie is expecting another baby in approximately nine weeks time. She recently went for an ultrasound and she have given me permission to show the picture of her "Mungbean" as she calls her little one.
Now when I first saw this picture, I got goosebumps. Because I can clearly see her new baby there, facing the camera. But on the right hand side, I am positive that there is a profile of a larger baby, giving the smaller baby a kiss. How can you not say that this is Matilda? It hit me right in the face as soon as I saw it. There is a second baby. And it is Matilda, kissing her sibling and showing her mum and dad that she is okay. The spiritual aspect of this picture is amazing. I have never seen anything like it. For me, this proves that there is a Heaven, a world beyond Earth, filled with peace and happiness. It also proves that these little ones watch over us and want us to be okay. Maddie, you have been an inspiration to me. You have set the path for me to follow in my darkest hour. Your children are magnificent and are lucky to have you as a mother. Thank you.


  1. Oh wow,that has given me tingles and I am in tears!

  2. Thanks for all the kind words Steph - I'm in tears.

    I'm not sure I always handle it with diginity and grace. Don't be too hard on yourself either - some things become easier with time.

    Maddie x

  3. wow! That is a baby! 100% I see it clear as day!

  4. Wow, I now have tears running down my cheek. That is so clear. It sure looks as though Matilda is giving the new baby a big Kiss.