You have to excuse my lack of posts of late. I'm on struggle street, emotionally and physically. My posts will probably become more and more infrequent as the baby's birth draws closer. I hate that this time is taken away from Sybella, but I am so completely paranoid that I need to concentrate on being vigilant about this baby's wellbeing.
I am finding myself at the hopsital every second day or so for CTG monitoring. It is the only time I feel relaxed, those 20-30 minutes or so where I can actually hear the regular thumping of our baby's heartbeat.
I turned up the other day for a CTG and had to have it done in the recovery section, as the normal room was occupied. There are 4 beds in recovery, mainly for women who have just had a cesearean. I was lying in my little curtained-off section, listening to the heartbeat, when a fairly young woman was wheeled in with her new baby. She was accompanied by her mother and partner. I couldnt see her, but I could hear her tinny, very young-sounding voice.
"Ohhhhhhhh. I have a dauuugghhhttterrrrrrrrr!" she emphatically exclaimed. Over and over and over she said this. "I cant believe I get to keep you!!!"
Then came the phone calls and the desperate attempts to post her news to Facebook. "Hello? I have a dauuugghhhttterrrrrrrrr! She's perfecttttttt!" Cue: vivid and detailed explanations of her new baby's appearance. "Black curly hair! Beautiful fingernails!"
I lay there, listening to this. I'm not an unreasonable person. I know that: 1. She didnt know I was there. 2. She didnt know my situation. 3. Even if she did, who cares? She was entitled to gush over and celebrate her baby.
But it was still cutting to listen to it.
When she said: I have a dauuugghhhttterrrrrrrrr! I thought: "Me too."
When she said: She's perfecttttttt! I thought "so is mine."
When she said: I cant believe I get to keep you!!! I thought: "You lucky, lucky woman."