Restricted Access

Mmm, so I have had to change the status of Born Still from open to restricted/invited readers only. I'll briefly explain why, and the reason has outraged me.
Okay, so it is no secret that I am staunchly pro-vaccine. I post, with other like minded parents, doctors and scientists on a certain pro-vaccine fan page on Facebook. My posts and comments, although sometimes have an air of frustration towards anti-vaccinationists, are never rude, insulting or threatening. I do not think that vaccinating is a matter of choice, because it is a community health issue. A decision not to vaccinate affects vulnerable members of the community. However, I still respect that people who dont vaccinate are still people, and parents who want to do the right thing by their kids. Therefore, I merely try and put forward correct, science and evidence based arguments to these people and try to debunk the flurry of misinformation swirling around, with the help of other extremely intelligent pro-vax participants. I do so in a polite and reasonable manner. So do my compatriots. It is something that we are proud of.
On the flipside, the anti vaccinationists who challenge us have proven themselves incapable of holding an intelligent debate, have resorted to name calling, threats and insults in an attempt to try and further their anti-vax stance. Obviously, trying to participate in a debate with people who use these particular tactics is futile.
Amongst my comments on this fan page, I have made it known that Sybella was stillborn, and that as a parent of a baby who has died, I advocated for vaccines because I shudder when I hear of infants dying of Pertussis when it is thoroughly preventable.
However, some anti-vaxxers have since stated that I paraded around on the fan page, claiming that Sybella died from a vaccine preventable illness. They stated that I lied about the way that Sybella died for no other reason than to strengthen my pro-vax stance. They have searched me on Google, found this blog, and directed all their anti-vax cronies over here to stalk my dedication to my daughter, my online memorial, my deepest, most personal raw anguish. I dont want their nasty, unempathetic, uncompassionate words muddying up Sybella's site. So I have had to restrict access. Unfortunately.
And, of course, I have never said anything that suggested Sybella died from a vaccine preventable illness. I stated outright that she was stillborn. I have the thread links to prove it. These grown women are simply targeting a vulnerable person, who they dont even know, without any knowledge of what I have been through...just because they can. Just because I dont agree with them. Just because I vaccinate and they dont.
Grown women. Huh. It's kind of revolting to read what they have written about me.
Rest assured, they were all on the receiving end of my anger when I read their posts. And do they apologise? No. Do they attempt to defend themselves? Yes. Do they remark that I have blown things out of proportion? Yes.
Sure, ladies. I'll sit back as you accuse me of lying about my daughter's cause of death, call me sick and ask "what kind of person does that??" Well, since I didnt do it, I have nothing to say about it.

So that is that. The lack of humanity is frightening. I am just so glad that I went ten months before I "met" people like this.

I Have A Daughter

You have to excuse my lack of posts of late. I'm on struggle street, emotionally and physically. My posts will probably become more and more infrequent as the baby's birth draws closer. I hate that this time is taken away from Sybella, but I am so completely paranoid that I need to concentrate on being vigilant about this baby's wellbeing.
I am finding myself at the hopsital every second day or so for CTG monitoring. It is the only time I feel relaxed, those 20-30 minutes or so where I can actually hear the regular thumping of our baby's heartbeat.
I turned up the other day for a CTG and had to have it done in the recovery section, as the normal room was occupied. There are 4 beds in recovery, mainly for women who have just had a cesearean. I was lying in my little curtained-off section, listening to the heartbeat, when a fairly young woman was wheeled in with her new baby. She was accompanied by her mother and partner. I couldnt see her, but I could hear her tinny, very young-sounding voice.
"Ohhhhhhhh. I have a dauuugghhhttterrrrrrrrr!" she emphatically exclaimed. Over and over and over she said this. "I cant believe I get to keep you!!!"
Then came the phone calls and the desperate attempts to post her news to Facebook. "Hello? I have a dauuugghhhttterrrrrrrrr! She's perfecttttttt!" Cue: vivid and detailed explanations of her new baby's appearance. "Black curly hair! Beautiful fingernails!"
I lay there, listening to this. I'm not an unreasonable person. I know that: 1. She didnt know I was there. 2. She didnt know my situation. 3. Even if she did, who cares? She was entitled to gush over and celebrate her baby.

But it was still cutting to listen to it.

When she said:  I have a dauuugghhhttterrrrrrrrr! I thought: "Me too."
When she said: She's perfecttttttt! I thought "so is mine."
When she said: I cant believe I get to keep you!!! I thought: "You lucky, lucky woman."